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Science has us convinced that we should keep our goals to ourselves. But does this work?
In this episode of The New Music Industry Podcast, I explain why sharing your goals with others is crucial to reaching them.
Podcast Highlights:
- 00:34 – Science says you shouldn’t share your goals with anyone
- 01:10 – The “trying” problem
- 02:29 – Action
- 02:50 – Getting into conversation
- 03:44 – Think And Grow Rich?
- 04:54 – Failure and the mistake advantage
- 05:20 – Why share your goals with others?
- 05:44 – The secret to sharing
- 06:19 – Episode summary
Transcription:
Today I wanted to share about the importance of sharing your goals with others.
Now, science is saying you shouldn’t share your goals with anyone. But why?
Because when you share your goals and receive early praise, you get a false sense of completion. You can even enter a state where you feel as though the goal has already been accomplished, even if it hasn’t been.
When I first heard that, I thought it made sense.
But based on the training I’ve received in the last year or so, I couldn’t disagree more. I think it’s ridiculous.
I think it might even be a deliberate attempt to disempower and deceive people who are genuinely trying to accomplish something worthwhile.
But you may say, “science is science, D.A. – it’s irrefutable.”
Then tell me this:
If we were to say for a moment that The Secret and Law of Attraction indeed work, then it’s also true that you attract what you are.
What do you attract when you’re trying to reach your goals? Think about it for a second. You attract more trying. So, you get stuck in a cycle of trying, trying, trying.
What do you attract when you’re trying to reach your goals? More trying. Click To TweetWe have a serious problem with trying in the music industry. Have you ever noticed that?
I can think of many examples, but the one that comes immediately to mind is Carly Rae Jepsen’s hit single, “Call Me Maybe”.
There’s a line in the chorus that goes:
“And all the other boys try to chase me”.
Are the boys trying to chase you? Or are they in fact chasing you? There’s a difference.
The only instance in which they might be trying to chase you is if they’re disabled or hindered by an obstacle. So, they’re chasing you unsuccessfully. Of course, that doesn’t sound as good in a lyrical context.
Now, I happen to think “Call Me Maybe” is a catchy song with a good hook but that’s beside the point.
The point is that we should consider eliminating the word, “try” from our vocabulary when it comes to goals.
We should consider eliminating the word, “try” from our vocabulary when it comes to goals. Click To TweetYou’re welcome to try new things, whether it’s food, a new hobby or a new routine. But that’s not what we’re talking about.
Again, if we were to assume that the Law of Attraction works, wouldn’t a state of completion be the ideal state to be in? Wouldn’t you attract completion from a state of completion?
But there’s more to this, because I don’t think what people are missing is an emotional state or a vibration. You don’t need to get your thoughts and feelings in order to achieve your goals. You don’t need to meditate for hours to get what you want.
What’s still missing from the equation is action. On this point I think virtually everyone would agree.
If you don’t do something, you won’t get anything.
If you don’t do something, you won’t get anything. Click To TweetBut of all the things you could be doing, is there anything truly as important as getting into conversation?
Think about all that you can achieve through conversation:
- You can set up partnerships.
- You can persuade investors.
- You can talk to collaborators about starting new projects.
- You can get a date.
- You can sell your significant other on the idea of marriage.
- You can ask for publicity and media coverage.
- You can sell your latest release.
- You can book shows.
- You can land an opening slot on another band’s tour.
- And more.
So, most if not everything you want is on the other side of a conversation.
And, if we were to take it for granted that what happens in our minds isn’t real, we can detach from this notion that sharing will somehow undermine our attempt to reach our goals.
It could be argued, then, that sharing is the critical element bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be. A lot of people miss that.
The critical element bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be is a conversation. Click To TweetI have immense respect and reverence for Napoleon Hill’s work and his book, Think And Grow Rich. It’s made a difference for a lot of people.
Many have speculated on what hidden secret Hill was referring to in the introduction of his book. Some people even claim to have the answer.
If I had to take my own stab at it, however, I would say that the secret is turning your thoughts into material, physical form.
What do I mean by that?
See, thoughts don’t exist. I don’t have access to your thoughts or anyone else’s. I only have access to my own. But even with access to my own thoughts, I can’t find my thoughts, your thoughts or anyone else’s anywhere in the physical realm. I can’t use my senses to identify them.
If we want our thoughts to become real, we need to turn them into a to-do list, a conversation, an email, a blog post, a podcast episode, a video, a book or otherwise.
So, despite its impact, Think And Grow Rich isn’t quite right. It’s Act And Grow Rich. It’s through action we discover what works and what doesn’t. When something doesn’t work, sometimes it’s just a matter of making a little tweak. And, sometimes we’re way off base and need to rethink our entire approach.
But trust me when I say I’ve tried a lot of things that didn’t work, and 80% of the time, I still fail. Most of what I do doesn’t work.
If I take it for granted that I’m not special and that I will make just as many mistakes as the average person, then all things being equal, it’s better that I make more mistakes. If I make more mistakes, I have a better chance at success. Even with all the failures, there’s bound to be some successes.
But you may still be wondering why you’d want to share your goals with others.
It’s quite simple – because you can benefit from what others have to share with you.
They may see things you don’t currently see about your goals and offer feedback. They may have accomplished something similar and could tell you what kind of effort it’s going to take. Plus, people know people. The people you share with may be able to connect you with others who can help you reach your goals quicker.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “I’ve done this type of sharing before, and it didn’t get me anywhere.”
Never forget that how you share makes a difference.
When you’re sharing about something that matters to you, the key point is to leave people touched, moved and inspired. How do you know when that has happened? When you feel touched, moved and inspired.
From that context, you will find that people are more open and willing to help, because it allows them step into your world and see things from your perspective.
If they don’t know why your goals are important to you, that question is going to remain a mystery for them. Even if they can’t verbalize it, there will be something missing for them.
So, do we fail to reach our goals because we share them with others? No, I think it’s the complete opposite. Most of the time, we fail to reach our goals because we don’t share them with anyone.
Most of the time, we fail to reach our goals because we don’t share them with anyone. Click To TweetThanks for joining me for part one of this podcast episode.
In part two, I’ll be sharing some of my goals with you. Maybe you can help me reach them.
Until then, jam on.
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